One of the major frustrations I have about living in the USA, is that I come from a very confusing place. This leads to me having the same conversations, over and over and over and over and over again. So I'm hoping to short circuit some of this in future, by composing this little guide to the UK. If I have to have another conversation explaining my home country again, my head will explode - so here goes:
1. q. "You have an accent, where are you from?"
a. "Don't you have an accent? Try standing in Sauchiehall Street in Glasgow at 2am on a Saturday night and talk like that, you will find you have an accent. I'm from Scotland."
There are a few variations of "2" below
2. q "a. Scotland, that's in England isn't it it?".
a. "Scotland absolutely never has been, and never will be in England. The Irish and Welsh were conquered, but we just did a very bad deal called the "Act of Union", with the English 300 years ago, after they tried to bankrupt us by blocking our trade routes when we tried to create an empire (who needs an empire anyway). Scotland is in fact a country, within the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland (or UK for short). Americans tend to think Scotland is in England because the English use the term UK and England interchangeably. Not unreasonably, they can claim they are both English and from the UK. The Scots are both Scottish and from the UK. The Scots are not, and never, never, never and never will be English". Phew.
3. q. "So, where is Scotland then?".
b. "There are four bits to the UK. Three of them form the geographic entity of Great Britain, the bit at the top of the Island to the left of the main Island is Northern Ireland. Great Britain = Scotland (the bit at the top of the main Island), Wales (the bit at the bottom left of the main Island) and England (the bit at the bottom of the main island). The UK = Scotland, Wales, England and Northern Ireland. The UK is the geo / political entity. The geographic entity of the British Isles is - Scotland, Wales, England, Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland. The Republic of Ireland is not part of the UK. Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and England all have a different relationship to the geo / political entity that is the UK. Scotland is a country within the UK, so in a sense, it is a country within a country. It has it's own Parliament, courts system, education system, etc. It may leave the UK one day soon, then it won't be so confusing for everyone". Phew again.
4. q. "The Weather is really bad there isn't it?".
a "Well, it can be, but the point about Scotland, is it is at the top of a little Island in the Atlantic Ocean. The weather is changeable - the weather is very predictable in California in a way that is is not in Scotland. You can have 4 different weathers in one day in Scotland.
5. q. "What part of Scotland are you from?"
My heart always sinks at this one, most Americans have only heard of Edinburgh - why do they imagine the town of 13000 souls in northern Scotland where I was born, will be known to them? I have been asked this question here 23445 times since I came here (OK I made the last bit up) and all 23445 times, no one has heard of the place I was born.
a." Here's Forfar's wikipedia link, just read it and move on, it is not very interesting and life is too short - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forfar".
5. q. "You Europeans eat so late /get so many holidays, etc, etc, etc".
a. "Europe is an ancient and hugely diverse place, lets not generalise about it."
6. q. "Scotland, that's the Island to the left of England."
a. a. "No, that's Ireland".
7. q. "What language do they speak in Scotland?"
a. "English (that's not to say that if we speak English, that it means that Scotland is part of England, remember "2" above) and rubbish. Mainly rubbish, some Gaelic, but I never understood that.".
8. q ."You don't sound like you are Scottish".
a. "That's because if I spoke like I'd just departed Sauchiehall Street, you would not be able to understand me!"
I'll add more to this guide as I go - maybe!
No comments:
Post a Comment